American Reunion(2012) Movie review – recycled cack

I enjoyed this franchise up until the third installment,the directors squeezed the final bits of milk out of this cash cow a long time ago,all that’s left is this sad carcass.

The story is exactly the same,several of the main cast get themselves into embarrassing situations,everybody still wants to get laid,a few nudy shots,a moral lesson learned by all,end of movie!

Watching middle age men act like teenagers is not funny,there is something quite depressing about it.

Next installment – The Divorce (from reality)

KO

 

Human waste on show for people who love wasting time! – BIG BROTHER

I have not watched Big brother for years but as I was channel surfing I noticed a dozen annoying little lemons all perched on brand new chairs,in a brand new house,with a dozen brand new personalities,just for TV.

I have refused to turn the sound on,but from the pictures, unknowns are deciding who to evict,outside,the friends of the unknowns(more unknowns) are giving their opinions on who they think should stay or go, out of the unknowns.

It may sound harsh but if an atom bomb was to land on this house, I honestly think this world would be a better place.

PLEASE FOR THE SANITY AND LOVE OF THE HUMAN RACE,SHOW SOME RESPECT AND DROP THIS SHOW FOR GOOD!

KO

Baghead: Movie Review (2008)

Well this is the last of the Duplass bro’s movies I had left to review, I think I picked them off in the right order. This was the weakest one of the bunch. Not that weak that my  thoughts have been averted. This has their finger prints smeared all over it. I think because of the low-budget success of The Puffy Chair they thought “if it ain’t broken, why fix it”.

The story follows four friends who are inspiring to become actors. They find the going tough to find permanent roles, so after watching a play of a friends they decide it looks easy enough to write a script. While the two girls are powdering there nose’s the two guys agree on a long weekend away to get the creative juices flowing.

One of the guys has a family member who has a weekend retreat, armed with supplies, they head to the cabin in the woods. So with the scene set and a little love triangle thrown in, what ideas will arise?

The weekend starts off slowly, hard pressed for ideas the script soon starts to write its self. What starts as someones dream soon becomes someones nightmare.

It was an honest enough idea, a handheld camcorder and a spooky cabin in the woods. Sure it’s been done before, but probably not on this low a budget. It’s hard to work out what they wanted to achieve come the end. Was it comedy, was it horror? I’m not quite sure myself. This was the least favorite of their movies for me, not a total failure by any means, still watchable.

6/10

Yappy

 

 

The Puffy Chair: Movie Review (2005)

As promised I back tracked on another Duplass brothers movie. Don’t worry readers their back catalogue is not very big so I will not bore you much longer.

The Puffy Chair is their first full length movie, when I say full the run time is only 80 minutes. When you watch this you have to put in to perspective that this movie only cost $15,000 to make and to be totally honest it looks like it as well. This is not a bad thing though, it’s because the movie is shot with a handheld camera that makes it look this way. What you’re getting here is the first snippets of the Duplass brothers skills of taking a simple story and turning it into something rather enchanting. Again its the dialogue that keep you hooked, they really have a craft for entwining the characters.

I guess if you want to get yourself noticed, you write a script and if your think you can act, you put yourself in the movie. Mark Duplass does a fine job, he is a funny guy. You may know him now from the TV show The League, which is on its 3rd season, the movie also stars someone else from The League,  actresses Katie Aselton.

Josh(Mark Duplass) is planning a road trip, he wants to pick up a reclining chair for his father and make a special trip to deliver it for his birthday. Emily his girlfriend, who understands why he wants to go alone, but is not completely happy about and make her feeling known. Josh feels guilty, the next day he surprises her by asking her to go with him.

Along the way they visit Josh’s brother Rhett (Rhett Wilkins)who in return asks if he can tag along. So what turns into a solo trip turns into  the last thing Josh wanted.

The journey soon takes a few different turns then expected, it’s not long before questions are being asked about their relationships with one another.

6.5/10

Yappy

England fight like Rocky – Italy beat England on pens – Euro 2012

I now know how Adrian must have felt when Rocky was getting his face pounded in by Creed and Drago,last nights England performance v the Italians was reminiscent of that iconic film.

England had a respectable twenty minutes in the first half,but apart from that the Italians were skipping around the pitch like they were in light training.

If there is a positive to come out of this game for England,its possibly that we have one of the best defences in the world,we conceded 64% of the possession,every time the Italian shot,there was a three lions boot in the way.

On the down side,England struggled to keep hold of the ball,and a five yard pass turned into a farce each time they tried one.

Rooney was disappointing,I wish people would accept that he is a good player and not a world beater.

For the future,England need to rely purely on youth,and be planning for the next ten years,not the next world cup,out should go Gerrard,Lampard and Terry,they are good players but its time to move on…

Watching England with strangers ……

Joining my new place of work, based two hours from my home for the next three weeks(Training), 3 guys and 5 girls…..

Whats the plan tonight comes the shout as we leave the office,a few ideas spring up,the local pub quiz ?,the cinema ?,when I get asked what I’m doing,I reply with annoyance,England ?

Ohhh yes,came the general response from the people in my group,lets cook up a Thai curry…. whose apartment should we go to ? what nibbles shall we bring for the game…..

Part of me felt like saying, I would prefer to watch it alone,but then I guess that would make me a miserable bastard as they all seemed so keen.

England v Ukraine - Tuesday the 19th June 2012

The seven people(strangers) arrive……

It started off with a very camp gentlemen,who swore he wasn’t gay,saying that he hopes England play well,and that the only reason he is hoping,is because he loves to sing the Three lions song,!!!!!!!!!

***********GAME KICKS OFF *******************

One of the girls asks,are England any good ? ….. I thought England were rubbish, why do you watch ?

********TEN MINUTES IN *********************

All I can hear at this point is conversations going on around me,two girls talking about make up and hair product,another two talking about a soap opera,womans clothes……NO ONE IS WATCHING THE GAME!

At this point I pull out a machete and begin swinging at all these people’s heads,I threw one person out of a window,set another on fire,made one girl swallow the remote control…………………………

And then I snapped back into reality,the stupid questions continued,the best came with ten minutes to go,do England play in white or yellow ?

I managed to finish 3 bottles of red wine,it was my way of dealing with the frustration and not murdering everyone.

England 1 Ukraine 0 (Rooney)

I have little memory of the game,I woke up the following day trying my best to hide one of the worst hangovers in my history.

England v Italy – Euro 2012 – A game of chess

Well we are one day away from the biggest game of the year,England take on Italy on Sunday with the whole of the country hoping we can play well,but would be content with a similar workman like performance seen in England’s group games.

The Italian’s this week has stated that England have copied their tactics,and that,this is the reason England have enjoyed success,this could be true to certain extent,but I feel England have more in the closet than their pizza loving friends.

Gerrard and Rooney are our only World class atttacking players,but our key to winning this game is in the team play that has been evident in this years Euro’s.

Gerrard not worried on Rooney aggression

The likey outcome will be a 0 - 0 draw and then penalties,I would prefer for England not to go down this route,it would be like flipping a two headed coin in the Italians favour.

I hope that we see the likes of Walcott and Chamberlain at some point,their pace will cause them problems, it what will be a very tight game.

KO

Wanderlust: Movie Review- So dull, even dull was bored.

Oh Jenifer, Your Beauty is undeniable I have to admit you are my guilty pleasure, even though you pain with your acting skill, your beauty always transfixed me. I can always find a way of defending you in someway….”but that has to stop now”. Jeez Louise, she was just damn right awful in this movie. Like I said I will normally throw her a life line, I know she is a one trick pony, but when your one trick starts to fail than its time to let her sink. “This is the movie business not the beauty business”. It was the horrible bosses movie that got me, that was supposed to be her shinning moment, to show she had some different skills( fart noise),forget it Jen, you should have given Brad the children he desired and let him do the acting, because the I want to concentrate on my career” hasn’t really worked out has it?”

Side note to Paul Rudd, you can piss off as well, man was someone holding a gun to your head when you signed this contract. He thought.” Oh well if she can do it, why can’t I”.

If you have ever seen the episode of South Park when Kyle wakes one morning and everything he hears on TV is just fart noises, then this is that movie.

P.S  If you ever see that David Wain has written or directed a movie, avoid it like an Eddie Murphy Film.

2/10

Yappy

Cyrus: Movie Review (2010)

Well here is another installment of the Duplass brothers, written and directed. In this flick it has a guy of which I am not to keen on, John C. Reilly, so maybe  this was going to be a test of their skills and my tolerance to see if they could pull it off.

They actually pulled it off, I sat through a whole movie with Mr Reilly and didn’t wanna jump in the screen and pull off that silly looking rubber face of his. I just like the way these guys take a story that should be legless and turn it into something rather amusing. They have a real talent for script writing. If they can turn my thoughts around of John C. Reilly, albeit for just one movie then I salute you.

The movie start out with John (John C. Reilly) being told by his ex-wife that she is getting re-married. He struggles to believe they not getting back together after 7 years apart. She invites him to a party the following day to try to get him to start meeting girls again, he refusing, but her persistence pays of in the end.

While at the party the out of practice John meets Molly (Marisa Tomei) who see’s the crazy side of John rather amusing. After the one night stand she leaves through the back door, leaving her number for John to call. The desperate John does n’t waste time making contact. They arrange to meet again that night. As she tries to sneak off again without being seen John questions her secrecy.

Not happy with her explanation he tails her to a house that looks unlike a single persons. The next Morning he awakes in his car still at the mystery house. H e decides to take a peep, as he tries sneaking up the stairs Cyrus (her son, Jonah Hill)  is waiting to greet him.

He soon finds himself inside the house being warmly hosted by the equally weird Cyrus. John cant quiet  believe his luck finding a beautiful girl like Molly. So something has to give or someone!

 

The film does come under comedy/drama/romance, I will be honest there are a few chuckles, to me though its more about the dialogue. Most of these type of movie are quiet generic when it come to dialogue, but these guys have found a formula that works. The three main actors in this movie play characters that i’ve not seen them do before or maybe that me loving what they did here.

Lets not get carried away though, it’s not that great, but the future looks good for the directors.

 

7/10

 

Yappy

My Week With Marilyn (2011) Movie review – Nice,sweet film

I went into this movie with no expectations,everybody has heard of Monroe,mainly due to her being the first big movie star,if she wasn’t the best,then she was certainly the most famous.

A film runner strikes up a relationship with Marilyn while she is filming a UK film with Laurence Olivier.

The movie is supposed to be a true account,in this case it’s very hard to confirm this as the sweet lady has passed,if her portrayal in this movie is anything to go by,she was a complete diva / nutter,but you cannot deny her beauty and charm.

The most impressive actor in this film is Kenneth Branagh,I fell completely into his believable performance of Laurence Olivier,to the point that I was more interested in him,than I was in Marilyn,strange I know,but there was something intriging about a famous man dealing with an actress and her petty problems.

I wish Branagh would allow himself to do more commercial movies,he has the talent,but instead seems to be wasted on period pieces that I do not care for.

A feel good film with a strong cast.

KO

7/10