My journey to work…

I wake up with my dreams in shock that I have decided to leave,my sub conscience is telling me to ignore that alarm clock,my bed mentally holds out its pillows and looks more appealing at 6am than at any other time of day,I promise my bed that as soon as I get home,I will jump straight back in, and continue this perfect sleep,never gonna happen,but I still say it to myself most days.

I arrive at the train station,I am surrounded by one hundred people,all of them looking annoyed or tired,as I gaze down the platform I notice 98 of the 100 are all under the power of the Iphone,some playing games,others checking the net,and most, listening to music,the only thing they all have in common is the need to be left in isolation,it seems any social remark or comment must be left exclusively for cyber space.

As I enter the train,I walk directly to the single chairs,I relax and celebrate my small achievement in securing a single chair by sipping my coffee and reading my book,all in the knowledge that no matter how many weirdo’s enter the train,none of them will be talking or fidgeting around me,we enter the next stop…

Everyone sits in silence as a minute passes, a man in the distance is running towards our train,his suitcase is flying through the air,his shirt has fallen out of his trousers as he tries to make it to the door nearest me, the guard blows his whistle to signal the train to leave,mentally I have a bet with myself that the man wont make it,when the door shuts five seconds before he arrives, I laugh on the inside and ignore this irate man who is now swearing at himself and the rest of world around him,I know on a different day that irate man will be me, and some smug cunt will be laughing from behind the glass.

KO

Girls gone dead (2012)Movie review – Ever wondered what a porn film would be like without any sex…

OK I freely admit that the only reason I watched this film was because it was available to download for free,and I read a review(probably from the makers)which claimed it was a cheesy,but funny comedy, with lots of naked girls !

Well this movie was just like a porno but without the sex,lots of girls trying to act,all of them failing miserably.

Ron Jeremy also has a bit part in this shi* bucket of a movie,I can’t really tell you what his part was,but then again I’m sure Ron could not explain it either.

I would mention the poor dialogue but I would be surprised if there was actually a script….put this bikini on and laugh about with your mates,would have been the directors continuous advice!

0.01/ 10

KO

The Raven (2012)Movie review – Dark and depressing!

John Cusack will always be rated highly in my opinion due to his part in High fidelity and The Grifters.

Back to this movie and it really is a movie to avoid,the style of shot is very dark,the dialogue feels forced and delivered without really emotion,with both of these combined the result is a sleeping pill in the form of a movie.

DONT WASTE YOUR TIME !

3/10

KO

The Olympic 2012 opening ceremony – Danny Boyle

Well the olympics had failed to excite me up until now,In the UK most people are not interested at the prospects of the games starting, instead they are moaning about the inconvenience, with all these visitors creating extra traffic and slower journeys….

Having just watched Danny Boyles opening ceremony I have to say I am now excited,I am sure there are people around the world who did not get all the references but that’s what made it very English.

The first ten minutes were a bit strange but once the event warmed up I could not take my eyes off the screen,it felt like a movie montage rather that an opening to the olympics.

Danny Boyle should be very proud,I give him top marks for original idea’s and two thumbs up for not playing it safe !

BRING ON THE GAMES !

KO

The Dark Knight Rises: Movie Review

For me this was always going to be the most difficult of the three. Batman Begins caught most people of guard, when it came about most people were like “another Batman movie”, after people where like “fuck, did you see the new Batman?”. When the Dark Knight was released there was a frenzy, I havent met man people who didn’t like this movie and if I have they are not worth knowing. There are not to many 10/10 movies out there, but the Dark Knight sure was one of them for me.

I couldn’t contain my excitement waiting for The Dark Knight Rises. That was my first mistake here, I avoided all trailers this year and advanced reviewers comments, I wanted my own thoughts on what I was viewing on the day. In my mind’s eye I wanted this movie to eclipse part 2, but that was always going to be a tall order.

When I came out of the movie the pedestal I put this movie on was given a firm boot. It was a very good movie….it just wasn’t the great movie  it should have been. I’m not going to give spoilers away for the can’t be bothered to go and watch at the cinema people. The trouble with this movie is, there are to many stars on show, everyone seems to be the now or has been. I guess everyone wanted  a piece of saying they were in the Nolan Batman series. They should have just cooled it though, through out your saying to yourself “oh that’s so and so from blah blah and that’s so and so”.

What about the actors we did have? Batman or should we say Christian Bale was flawless to the end, his skills never diminish over the whole series. The stand out in this movie for me was Anna Hathaway, I was wasn’t to sure she could pull it off,” but boy did she”. If you thought Pfeiffer and Berry looked fine in rubber then you’re not going to be let down here, Anna sure was menacing. Tom Hardy was back to his most brutal, playing one of the most eagerly awaited nemeses, the baneful Bane, you need to tune in your listening skill here as the mask he wears distorts the sound. There are also fine performances from Joseph Gordan-Levitt, Micheal Cane and Morgan Freeman and of course Garry Oldman. One person I was surprising let down with due to her last scene in the movie was Marion Cotillard, I’m not going to say what happens, but it spoiled what she did before hand.  Christopher Nolan is gonna have a pretty impressive collection of Christmas cards this year.

Sometimes you feel that the movie is a little long-winded, I guess you would after 2 hours 40 Minutes. Saying that though, you kind of never want it to end.

I really wanted it to be an 11 out 10, but it could only reach a respectable

9/10

I can’t see anyone wanting to take this project  on after Mr Nolan, good luck to who ever tries.

Yappy

The Veteran (2011)Movie review – Toby Kebbell is the new Pacino but this film sucks!

I loved Tony Kebbell in Rock and Roller,a star was born in my eyes,if you compare his character in that movie to the one he plays in Dead man’s shoes, it truly shows how gifted Kebbell is,that said,one man doesn’t make a football team,and one man does not make a great movie.

(His total time on screen( above) –  3 mins)

The Veteran’s concept was not bad,guy returns from war,gets hired to do some private undercover work, while also dealing with the local scumbag’s on his street corners.

BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH THIS FILM ?

Apart from Kebbell and the Scottish lead,Tony Curran,the rest of the cast cannot act,it feels like a school play at times,that’s how low the level gets,I’m sure the budget was the biggest reason for this, but the movie feels like a beautifully cooked meal,just as you are anticipating the delicious taste, you spot a huge ginger hair growing out of your food,you swap you appetite for anger and wish the cook had decided against putting his hat on that night.

Kebbell, in my opinion is one of the best actors in the business,he has young shoulders but hopefully if his agent can find him the right parts he will soon become a legend!

3/10

KO

Wanderlust (2012) Movie review – Rudd is great,Aniston not so great !

I walked into this film expected a blasé movie,there are part’s which are, but then Paul Rudd lifts the film up and brings his everyman sarcastic nature to what would have been a misable film.

Jennifer Aniston plays her usual Rachel character to a new boring degree.

The film is about a couple who are stressing over their career and success,in between their journey they stumble across a bunch of people who change their out look on life…..

6/10 (Just for Rudd)