I give it a year (2013) Movie review; Mushy crap served on a plate of dried up scripts!

My co blogger Yappy recently slated this movie and as much as I enjoy having the opposite opinion to him I am afraid he was right,this movie stinks!

The script is mix mash of every crap english film that has been released over the past decade,the only thing missing was Hugh Grant scoffing on a scone while telling the bride that she looks like a right sort!

Stephen Merchant stands out but his lines and humour are kind of detached from the film,it feels like someone shone a light on the film each time he arrived on-screen,and as soon as his bit ended the light went out while the movie tumbled into dour darkness.

Please don’t waste your money,this really is bad!

3/10

KO

 

 

The Place Beyond the Pines(2013) Movie review; A unique treat that breaks the normal format of film!

I really enjoyed this movie on many levels,Ryan Gosling is handsomely distracting,someone of his looks should never  have been given this acting ability,(the world seems somewhat unfair),along with Drive I would put this up there with his best performance.

The movie plays out in two parts,the story is intriguing and mysterious without the need to show you road signs to each twist,I say twist in the sense of the way the story develops,if you have ever watched a film and thought I wonder if they did end happy in the end,well this movie is for you,you think you have arrived at the ending of the film but then comes the transfer of stars from Gosling to Bradley Cooper,it’s as if Ryan passes the baton onto Cooper,the level of acting does not drop off,it’s very easy to slag off actors for being poster boys but I have done a complete U-turn with regards to Coopers ability,it all started with the playbook movie and he has only got better in this feature.

A special mention must go to Australian Ben Mendelsohn,the man was born for the big screen,each time I see him my chair becomes more comfortable in the knowledge that as long as the script is decent the performance is going to be gold.

That’s enough man love from me for the day.

8/10

KO

Parker (2013) Movie review; Can somebody please marry Jennifer Lopez soon so she can stop making movies!

Ah God,why on earth did I watch this dribble,well if I am honest it’s because Jason Stratham stars in it,he is in no way perfect but he does have decent skills which if utilised well for the right role can result in an enjoyable film.

Now to Jennifer Lopez,…..I have grown to dislike this woman enormously over the years,my anger seems to know know no bounds which doesn’t make sense,I think it has something to do with her lack of talent,she was once young fresh and beautiful,she is now old,archaic and just plain boring,her on-screen persona just screams, HEY’ LOOK AT ME’ I AM A STAR’ PLEASE LOOK,LOOK I HAVE ATTITUDE AS WELL”

This movie is decent for the first twelve minutes,it’s the only original part of the film,the rest is a waste of time that I would recommend you avoid,you would have more fun seeing to a rash or cutting your nails than you would lasting the length of this dull and anti climatic film.

1/10

KO

Movie 43 (2013) Movie review; I have not laughed so much since I saw ”Kentucky fried movie”

I love it when you watch a movie without knowing its genre or story,this film was such a nice surprise that I have jaw ache from the amount of times it made me laugh.

It’s basically several short stories made into one film,when a bunch of teens play a joke on each other to find ”MOVIE 43” they come across all these other short but in some cases hilarious movies.

The film is reminiscent of the Kentucky fried movie,the humour is dry and quite sick at times,I like that there are so many well-known stars in it who freely give themself to the humour and go along with the weirdness.

The stand out performers include,Stephen Merchant,Halle Berry,Hugh Jackman,Gerard Butler,Sean William Scott,Terrance Howard and Emma Stone.

IMBD has this rated as a 4 which I find remarkable,if it is not a big hit it will certainly become a cult classic as soon as TV networks get hold of it.

One of my favourite quotes from the film – Basketball Player #4: Coach, what you’re saying is, we just walk with the Lord.
Coach: The Lord did his part already! He made you black, he gave you a foot and a half dick! Dribble with that, motherfucker!

8/10

KO

I give it a year: Movie Review (2013) – I’d give it a miss if I was you!

Let’s keep this short and sweet. Why? Because that is all the writer of the screenplay seemed to do, I think after he finished he must have asked a group of 5 year olds from the 90’s if it was funny. Get a grip Dan Mazer! How many years has it been since Austin Powers? He actually tried to get away with using the “yeah baby” gag. He not only wrote the thing, he then decided to direct it. Which to be honest I’m not that surprised, because anyone else would have rather crawled up their own backside then direct this. I should have known better after seeing Rafe Spall’s smug face in the tittle that this was going to be a complete train wreck. Here’s a tip for you Spall! Tone that stupid grin down you overly keen desperado.

This is far from the worst of it. His peers seem to be in tune with him by putting on a talentless display all by them self. Simon Baker from the Mentalist shows up and shows us that he’s not only annoying on TV; he can be perfectly as pretentious in movies also. Anna Faris plays a small part too, I’m not sure what her deal was here, but she looked like she’s had a few too many heavy nights on the crack pipe of late, she looked ill.

The only funny moments are when Stephen Merchant pops up on-screen,  but this is about 5 minutes in all, but he really is just playing his usual self, also Olivia Colman who plays a marriage councillor has a few amusing scenes.

Still not worth the other 90 minutes.

2/10

Yappy

Compliance (2012) Movie review;interesting concept for a film

Well you can imagine my disappointment when I realised this film wasn’t about the standards of the financial industry

So a weirdo calls into a burger joint and pretends to be a police officer,I think this prank could work to a certain extent,I think initially you would obey if the officer on the phone sounded convincing,I just don’t buy that people would go as far they did in this movie,that said it’s based on true events…

The film is original and is interesting as you don’t know where its taking you,I think its more about what people are like when they have technology to hide behind,in this case its a mobile phone but you could also reference the nasty bite that comes out in people when they comment on YouTube, it seems people aren’t half as nice in society when there are no come backs.

I recommend this film

7/10

KO

Jack Reacher(2013) Movie review; This movies tastes good with popcorn

This film is not half bad,I was expecting mission impossible meets top gun based on the title of the film but instead enjoyed an action packed thriller.

Without giving the plot away the police are chasing a killer,once they have found their man the only person he wishes to speak to… is… wait for it…..JACK REACHER!!!

This is where the twists and turns develop,Mr Mysterious,otherwise known as Jack Reacher, walks around like a real bad ass,this could come off as lame but the sarcastic dialogue saves the day,in the true style which originated with Clint Eastwood, Tom Cruise felt lucky when reading this script and manages to pull off this character .

Years ago I would look forward to a T’C movie, more recently I find myself being put off by him,with the scientology thing,Opera interview and reports of his controlling behaviour(media and relationships),not to mention a bag full of bad movies, I am happy to say that this is a decent film,it wont win any Oscars but it was just an entertaining ride of a movie, the type of movie Tom used to be known for.

7/10

KO

 

A film with me in it (2008) Movie review; This was filmed on my street!!! – Raglan road Dublin

The only reason I watched this movie was because I recently moved into a new apartment and was told by a friendly neighbour that the street I am on is famous.

The street in question is ;- Raglan road in Dublin,I was informed that there is  a famous song about the road sung by Luke Kelly, the owner of Ryan air lives across the way and ….. this titled movie was filmed three doors down!

As a movie enthusiast I can tell you it took me all of one hour to download this unheard movie,when the opening of film kicks off I instantly recognised the house just a few yards away,I felt a feeling of unwarranted achievement,as I had chosen to live in such an iconic flat which was surrounded in history and film, in reality the price was good and it was within the city limits.

My excitement soon died down after the first opening scenes of the movie,Keith Allen and Dylan Moran do a decent job acting wise but the story and delivery of this film just falls flat,there were moments when you think it might have something but then they spoil what could have been scene building with quirky off the wall comedy which squashes any true tempo or interest in the film.

I have made a vow to make sure that all my apartments in the future hold some significance when it comes to the movies,I am not sure how I will afford to live on Wall street, but if it ever happens I will be sure to quote this post in the New yorker!

5/10

KO

Hysteria: Movie Review (2011) -The Vibrator is Born

After reading the synopsis for this movie, the invention of the vibrator and staring Maggie Gyllenhaal my eyebrows were rising. I remember her a few years back making a crazy movie where she was employed as a sadomasochist, the movie turned out to be a dull affair, but she put herself out there in a role that could have sent her career in different directions. So it seemed she was looking to give us another taste of her more daring self! Unfortunately it’s another no on that front, but don’t confuse me as perverted, I just like seeing these types of actors in uncomfortable roles, just to see how they can handle it.

The Movie is based on how the Vibrator came to be. It was said that woman were being diagnosed with hysteria, due to over working or to the lack sexual activity from their partners. Mortimer, an up and coming young doctor who finds himself in a new role as Dr Dalrymple’s right hand man! It doesn’t take him to long before that right hand soon starts holding him back and a new plan is needed to keep his clientele happy.

I found the movie to be quite entertaining; there were plenty of honest laughable moments. There was no way this topic wasn’t going to be funny with a simple mind as mine to please. Period dramas can be a rather dull affair the best of times, but this takes away all the boring snobbery and has a good old giggle at itself.

My only fault with this movie was Maggie Gyllenhaal, not only doesn’t she step it up a notch, she is utterly annoying. She was totally out of place for this movie; I will never understand why directors cast foreigners for parts when that country has plenty to offer in talent. Not only that she looked like a beaver who’d just finished chomping two whole logs most of the time. I think it was the attire, not suited at all.

6.5

Seems low for a movie I enjoyed I know! but there are better  7’s out there.

Yappy

Iron Man 3: Movie Review – Old Iron Wanted for scrap!

The movie starts off well enough and there is plenty of action and special effects to keep the eyes busy, but this soon filters out when Iron Man starts having a breakdown. I’m not spoiling anything when I say Tony gets a visit from the bad guys of which he invited in the first place. They’re set on destroying his empire; caught unaware Tony needs a last grasp plan for a getaway. No one gets away with trying to destroy Iron Man without retribution, while out of harm’s way Tony seeks his revenge.

When he is away it’s where the movie takes a dip, when Stark is taken away from his gadget room, what has he got to rely on? Not a great deal, it seems he can’t even think for himself without Jarvis (he’s computer) and pepper , so when the chips are down he seeks help from a 12 year old boy! Iron Man doesn’t turn into a paedophile, although that would have made things interesting! No this 12 year old not even nerdy, so what’s he going bring to the table except for his supped up potato gun? Of course he brings more than that; he’s got a cute face and razor whit! What more do you need when saving mankind from The Mandarin.

The dialogue in this movie is the best thing going for it, without it the movie could have been a lot worse off. RDJ is the king of coolness; he could pull off just about anything. It seems they really wanted to pull laughs out regularly in the movie, that’s normally a bad sign though, because it means they are trying to distract you from areas of the movie that are worth forgetting. The one character in the movie that does upstage RDJ is Sir Ben Kingsley as The Mandarin, he is pure comedy gold. He shows what a talent he is and will always be. Guy Pearce has more of a roll than one would like, I’m not saying he’s bad; he’s just not very memorable. Gwyneth really gets to show us this time around why she’s hot property of late, in the abominable area anyway. She even gets to don one of the many Iron man suits which shouldn’t really work because their only supposed to be programmed for Tony?

This instalment is part 3 for a good reason, Iron Man 1 was fresh and fun, 2 just went off the rails a little and with 3 they seemed to try and re-direct it back on course, but only managing to keep it on the curve.

I don’t see where they go from here if Robert Downey Jr does jump ship! I’m not sure anyone else could carry Iron man like he did. You just know it’s not the end, it makes too much money to quit.

6/10

Yappy