I have had the pleasure or displeasure to experience a few job interviews in the last 15 years, I thought today about some of the worst or embarrassing interviews I endured in my time and thought it would make sense to share them and hopefully gain some stories back in the comments section.
1, My very first interview I had on leaving school was with a print company, I remember feeling super nervous, I am pretty sure I wore my school trousers, matched with a cheap shirt and nasty tie, on arrival I was greeted and shown these big printing presses, I was then escorted into an office were the manager was keen to tell me that this was a family business, he then said before we get started I need to ask one question ? , do you have any issues with colour blindness as we cannot have anyone working here who suffers with such a problem, I sank into my chair as I told him that I am in fact colour blind and mix green with reds and blue with purple, he just looked at me like I was blind completely and then thanked me for turning up as we made our way to the front door.
2, The second interview which followed the great printing press job was working for a local pizza restaurant that was in the middle of town, I love pizza, so at the age of 17 I thought I had found my dream job, this was my thoughts on the way to the restaurant.
I got there early so paced the pavement for a minute or so and then turned off my tape Walkman in preparation for entering the building, I got inside and there was no one around apart from a cleaner, he went and got the manager /chef, he greeted me with a reluctant smile as he ushered me to a table at the end of the restaurant, as I sat down I noticed at least three fans whirling around the tables we were sat at, I soon realised that these fans were making a heck of a lot of noise, I did not think it was my place to remark on this fact so I decided to instead just look professional, which to a 17-year-old meant not looking or saying anything stupid, he then told me that the air conditioning was broke and this was why they had got so many fans in, I smiled thinking, Ahh OK, he then fired off questions but I could only hear the last few seconds of the question, so all I heard was … been making pizza’s for ? I then only heard … Available for ? … It get’s hot…. Do you have a problem… , I thought at the time I can’t tell him I can’t hear him, maybe this is a test ? so I replied to each of his questions with a confident YES! which as you could imagine went down a treat if he was asking me if I had a problem doing long shift’s (YES) or weekend work(YES), surprisingly I did not get the job and I my dreams of becoming the next pizza sensation blew out the door, much like those fans.
3. This job was years later, I had actually got a job working for my local news paper, on my first day, myself and another new recruit were being shown around the place, on the morning of any new job or interview, I always get an upset stomach, I am guessing it’s a result of nerves or anxiety, anyway, as we were being shown around, the manager told us that this was the reception area, this is the coffee-room and this is the toilets, immediately I said, would you mind if I used your toilet, he said no, of course not, I said great, I’ll catch you up once I’m done, I then went into the toilet and found out early on that my upset stomach was burning up inside of me, instead of quick in and out job I was in there for fifteen minutes, there were a few groans and a few oh my god’s, I was conscious of the fact that my new boss must be upstairs wondering if I had done a runner (No pun intended ) I pulled myself together, covered my face in water and gave the toilet handle a good few tugs just to make sure that all evidence was now flushed away, I had one last look in the mirror and then I opened the door, My manager was standing outside the door with the other new recruit, they hadn’t left, my cool fresh face from a second ago was now turning bright red, I said in a acquisitive nature, I told you I would catch you up when I was done?, he responded with, well we were going to move on but then I realised you needed a security pass to to gain access to the door we decided to come and wait here, if we knew you were having….Errr… problems we would not have waiting outside of the door, are you feeling better was his next question!!!
4. This job interview was for when I was at college, so I would have just turned 18, there was a local nightclub in my town called knights, very classy club, they sold all you could drink for ticket’s £15.
On arrival I was greeted by a fat lady in her thirties who told me to sit on a black leather couch, she then asked me if I was a virgin, I confidently told her I wasn’t, (like an aids victim celebrating the all clear) I could sense from the first question that they were not interesting in seeing my CV, she then told me that the manager would be out soon, I said OK Thanks, a few moments passed and the girl came back with a friend, Oh aren’t you sweet, I did not respond to this, I just smiled nervously, one of the girls then said, you know if you want a job here your C*ck has to fill a pint glass, can you please take it out so we can check, I thought about responding but instead just laughed off their question with more nervous laughter, a man then walked near me, did not stop, he just said, can you start this Friday ? I gulped a yes, and that was that,I am not sure if Alan Sugar or Donald Trump ask these questions but I am sure it would do great things for their ratings.
PLEASE SHARE YOUR OWN STORIES IN THE COMMENTS.