Warm bodies (2013) Movie review; Nice soundtrack and idea but I woudn’t wanna see it again!

I think if you make a film and use the moon as your setting you would not be shocked to find people floating around in space suits,so in turn when you make a zombie movie you would expect to see the cast walking at 3 mph on a daily basis,this is normally the case but in this zombie flick the rules have changed,not only are they walking like us humans but when the script calls for it they are also having full-blown conversations.

This is one of those films that doesn’t really know what it is trying to achieve,at first I thought it was following in the foot steps of ”Zombieland” and ”Shaun of the dead”,but then after a fresh and humourous beginning the movie takes a dark and serious romantic route in the vain of ”Twilight” which really put me off.

Even though I like the idea of a Zombie movie from the view-point of the Zombie it doesn’t really work,you can’t really get away with them talking and having feelings,I am not sure you could call them zombies if you could,hung over and grouchy people would be more accurate!

5/10

KO

I give it a year (2013) Movie review; Mushy crap served on a plate of dried up scripts!

My co blogger Yappy recently slated this movie and as much as I enjoy having the opposite opinion to him I am afraid he was right,this movie stinks!

The script is mix mash of every crap english film that has been released over the past decade,the only thing missing was Hugh Grant scoffing on a scone while telling the bride that she looks like a right sort!

Stephen Merchant stands out but his lines and humour are kind of detached from the film,it feels like someone shone a light on the film each time he arrived on-screen,and as soon as his bit ended the light went out while the movie tumbled into dour darkness.

Please don’t waste your money,this really is bad!

3/10

KO

 

 

The Place Beyond the Pines(2013) Movie review; A unique treat that breaks the normal format of film!

I really enjoyed this movie on many levels,Ryan Gosling is handsomely distracting,someone of his looks should never  have been given this acting ability,(the world seems somewhat unfair),along with Drive I would put this up there with his best performance.

The movie plays out in two parts,the story is intriguing and mysterious without the need to show you road signs to each twist,I say twist in the sense of the way the story develops,if you have ever watched a film and thought I wonder if they did end happy in the end,well this movie is for you,you think you have arrived at the ending of the film but then comes the transfer of stars from Gosling to Bradley Cooper,it’s as if Ryan passes the baton onto Cooper,the level of acting does not drop off,it’s very easy to slag off actors for being poster boys but I have done a complete U-turn with regards to Coopers ability,it all started with the playbook movie and he has only got better in this feature.

A special mention must go to Australian Ben Mendelsohn,the man was born for the big screen,each time I see him my chair becomes more comfortable in the knowledge that as long as the script is decent the performance is going to be gold.

That’s enough man love from me for the day.

8/10

KO

Parker (2013) Movie review; Can somebody please marry Jennifer Lopez soon so she can stop making movies!

Ah God,why on earth did I watch this dribble,well if I am honest it’s because Jason Stratham stars in it,he is in no way perfect but he does have decent skills which if utilised well for the right role can result in an enjoyable film.

Now to Jennifer Lopez,…..I have grown to dislike this woman enormously over the years,my anger seems to know know no bounds which doesn’t make sense,I think it has something to do with her lack of talent,she was once young fresh and beautiful,she is now old,archaic and just plain boring,her on-screen persona just screams, HEY’ LOOK AT ME’ I AM A STAR’ PLEASE LOOK,LOOK I HAVE ATTITUDE AS WELL”

This movie is decent for the first twelve minutes,it’s the only original part of the film,the rest is a waste of time that I would recommend you avoid,you would have more fun seeing to a rash or cutting your nails than you would lasting the length of this dull and anti climatic film.

1/10

KO

Movie 43 (2013) Movie review; I have not laughed so much since I saw ”Kentucky fried movie”

I love it when you watch a movie without knowing its genre or story,this film was such a nice surprise that I have jaw ache from the amount of times it made me laugh.

It’s basically several short stories made into one film,when a bunch of teens play a joke on each other to find ”MOVIE 43” they come across all these other short but in some cases hilarious movies.

The film is reminiscent of the Kentucky fried movie,the humour is dry and quite sick at times,I like that there are so many well-known stars in it who freely give themself to the humour and go along with the weirdness.

The stand out performers include,Stephen Merchant,Halle Berry,Hugh Jackman,Gerard Butler,Sean William Scott,Terrance Howard and Emma Stone.

IMBD has this rated as a 4 which I find remarkable,if it is not a big hit it will certainly become a cult classic as soon as TV networks get hold of it.

One of my favourite quotes from the film – Basketball Player #4: Coach, what you’re saying is, we just walk with the Lord.
Coach: The Lord did his part already! He made you black, he gave you a foot and a half dick! Dribble with that, motherfucker!

8/10

KO

I give it a year: Movie Review (2013) – I’d give it a miss if I was you!

Let’s keep this short and sweet. Why? Because that is all the writer of the screenplay seemed to do, I think after he finished he must have asked a group of 5 year olds from the 90’s if it was funny. Get a grip Dan Mazer! How many years has it been since Austin Powers? He actually tried to get away with using the “yeah baby” gag. He not only wrote the thing, he then decided to direct it. Which to be honest I’m not that surprised, because anyone else would have rather crawled up their own backside then direct this. I should have known better after seeing Rafe Spall’s smug face in the tittle that this was going to be a complete train wreck. Here’s a tip for you Spall! Tone that stupid grin down you overly keen desperado.

This is far from the worst of it. His peers seem to be in tune with him by putting on a talentless display all by them self. Simon Baker from the Mentalist shows up and shows us that he’s not only annoying on TV; he can be perfectly as pretentious in movies also. Anna Faris plays a small part too, I’m not sure what her deal was here, but she looked like she’s had a few too many heavy nights on the crack pipe of late, she looked ill.

The only funny moments are when Stephen Merchant pops up on-screen,  but this is about 5 minutes in all, but he really is just playing his usual self, also Olivia Colman who plays a marriage councillor has a few amusing scenes.

Still not worth the other 90 minutes.

2/10

Yappy

Compliance (2012) Movie review;interesting concept for a film

Well you can imagine my disappointment when I realised this film wasn’t about the standards of the financial industry

So a weirdo calls into a burger joint and pretends to be a police officer,I think this prank could work to a certain extent,I think initially you would obey if the officer on the phone sounded convincing,I just don’t buy that people would go as far they did in this movie,that said it’s based on true events…

The film is original and is interesting as you don’t know where its taking you,I think its more about what people are like when they have technology to hide behind,in this case its a mobile phone but you could also reference the nasty bite that comes out in people when they comment on YouTube, it seems people aren’t half as nice in society when there are no come backs.

I recommend this film

7/10

KO