Spring Breakers: Movie Review (2013) – Smoking hot girls acting like hooligans….

This isn’t going to take too long to describe what a pile of crap this movie was. Actually I will go as far as saying this is one of the worst movies I have seen, since I can remember anyhow, albeit my long term memory is not what it once was and then it was not all that.

Now I have heard that spring break parties in America can be insane, so maybe I have an unfair eye of what this movie is all about. The one thing I do know though is this….I know a well created movie when I see one and this is far from that. So what we got here was a director who went for cheap thrills, every single person on the screen was ripped and shredded within an inch of their lives and the woman were just insanely beautiful. So the target audience here has to be spring breakers themselves, but forget about it if you’re ugly and fat!! You are not welcome at this party.

The movie follows four girls wanting to go on the spring break, but can’t really afford to, so they devise a plan to rob a restaurant so they can go and act like mental cases for the week. At least that’s what you think is happening, the lay out of the movie is a train wreck, it’s just a miss-match of shots and noise and smoking hot girls acting like hooligans. After about 20 minutes of this you’re hoping the movie will level out and give us something other than schizophrenic camera work we’ve seen up to now and the broken dialogue that make no sense what’s so ever. That when we’re introduced to the supposed nemeses character played by James Franco. There’s nothing worse than when this is all played out wrong, some white boy thinking he’s a gangsta! If I wanted to see white guys acting like their black with ill effect I would just pop down the local town and listen to the way 18 year old lads talk with each other.

It’s a total shambles of a movie; I could have done a better job on my I-phone without any cuts.

2/10 (I have to give it 2 for those lovely ladies….Come on!!  I’m not blind.)

Yappy

Searching for Sugar man (2012) Movie review; A must see for everyone 9/10

This has to be one of the best documentaries ever released, the subject is very interesting and as the story develops you really begin to be captivated by all the people involved.

Forty years ago a young artist named Rodriguez made an album that was largely ignored by the music industry in America, fast forward thirty years and he is as popular as the Beatles in South africa, it was reported that this man committed suicide on stage after his early releases failed to make any impact in the U.S.

The documentary includes interviews with all his fans in S.A as well as all the people involved in making the first album, this story is really mesmerising, the story is told via interviews but each story reveals more about this remarkable man and eventually leads to the truth which is not always a given with these type of films.

The mans music is instantly likeable,I can only imagine that his skin colour was an issue for the American market at the time, mexican song writers did not have a track record of making money at the time so I am guessing that his music was never given any money to go to market.

It’s hard not think about Nick Drake when watching this movie, that his success also came after his demise,but with regards to style I would pitch Rodriguez as Bob Dylan meets the Beatles.

I really enjoyed this on several levels.

9/10

KO

Wee Man (2013) Movie review; Another scary gangster flick from the UK… Yawn!

This is not a bad movie, but I have to say this type of film has had it’s day in my opinion,it’s a true to life gangster flick about a well known hooligan with a heart from Glasgow.

Paul Ferris is mild mannered nutter who lives by a code, he doesn’t grass on people and he lets no one take the piss out of him, this results in Paul spending a long time behind bars which when you think about it doesn’t sound too smart.

In my teens I would have lapped this type of film up,lots of fighting and people walking round without a care in the world, now it just looks pathetic, in real life these people suffer with a poor upbringing and as a result have a moral code of sewer rat.

I did not find Paul’s life all that interesting, if you looked hard enough you could find several Paul’s scattered around most UK cities,I thought the lead put in a good performance but I have to agree with other blogs that say that Robert Carlyle was the only man that could have made this film better.

6/10

KO

Howard the duck (1986) Movie review; It’s terribly…good ?

The fun of having a little toddler in your life is that you can revisit all the kids films that you use to love,enter Howard the duck,a movie I may have watched more than dozen times as a kid.

I know it’s known as a flop but it was created for children (in my opinion under ten) and as a kid I remember laughing and feeling scared at all the action on-screen, fast forward thirty years and my enjoyment is somewhat limited, although watching a sarcastic duck is always gonna be a winner in my eyes.

The film is filled with cheesy lines (duck & human), I think if I watched it as a child now I would enjoy it, but then again I don’t think this type of film would compete with the likes of Toy story so I guess it will have to stay a classic in my own childhood 🙂

7/10

KO

Quotes from the film

Howard T. Duck: That’s it, no more Mr. Nice Duck.

Howard T. Duck: [to Bev] Of all the alleys in the world I could have fallen into that night, why did it have to be yours?

Man of Steel: Movie Review (2013) – The man Insurance Company’s hate!!

How many trailers does a movie need before it becomes the jigsaw of the total movie? I guessing this movie reached its quote in the lead up to the opening day! I rationed myself to the standard one as I always do and that has to be at least a year before so everything I saw has been totally erased from my fish like memory.

What a great call that was on my behalf, because the opening act to this movie caught me totally unaware. I never had any idea what was about to happen. The concept of creating another world had totally thrown me off direction. In hind sight it is what they needed to do and I was glad for it, for at least 20 minutes. Yes, it was a nice idea, but the build-up felt a little too long winded for my liking. As opening acts go, it has to be up there as one of the most action packed ever. The trouble is however how do you follow on with the rest of the movie?

“Here is how you follow”. You don’t slow down, you just keep going, action after action, it just keeps on coming, not even an hour had gone and I was totally drained. The quieter times in between all the action scenes are very rare. They just didn’t want you getting tired throughout this movie at all. For me I wanted a bit more of the getting to know you faze, but it clearly was hell bent on the here’s my strengths and watch me use them. It all sounds pretty sweet for action lovers, but honestly it was an over kill. Just when you’re getting over one building being torn to shreds, another ten fall in the wake of the macho tight wearing heroes.

I had high expectation for this movie, but….walked out slightly disappointed. The phrase, too much too soon sprang to mind. There was plenty to like, it was a huge improvement on Superman Returns, again another but….they just needed to take their foot of the accelerator a little.

6.5/10

Yappy

No one lives (2012) Movie review; I can’t make my mind up on this film….

It’s normally really easy to pinpoint when a movie goes good or bad,you can slam the story or the acting but in this film it’s not so straight forward.

To start with,it’s a potential horror with a bunch killers who  try to bully at what first seem like normal civilians, this is where the plot twist kicks in and the movie becomes enjoyable from an angle you least expect,full marks for originality.

Then we come to the cast,no one is brilliant but at the same time no one is in the B – class category, to add to the confusion in this verdict they also have Lee Tergesen from the HBO cult classic ”OZ” only problem is he does not play a lead role, there a lot of good but also a lot of average things to digest in this movie.

I guess what I am trying to say is it could have been something special…

Would be interested to know what other people made of this film.

6.5/10

KO

21 & Over (2013) Movie review; … Just not funny !

You have seen this type of comedy many times before, (a group of teens have a mission or a dilemma that has a ticking clock attached.) to name a few,Harold and Kumar,Road Trip and Sex drive, to a certain extent these movies ticked a lot of the comedy boxes to become a hit, 21 & over fails to tick any…

The cast are more annoying than entertaining, the crazy rebel teen should be rude, funny and witty, in this attempt he just comes off as a total wanker, you then have the caring sensitive character who would get rejected by the church for being so dam boring, and then, there is… the Asian career minded kid who’s scared of his dad….no comment!

Just not funny.

One of the worst movies I have had the displeasure of seeing in the last few years!

1/10

KO

Bullet to the head (2013) Movie review; No real flow and his co star is bloody awful!

Stallone will always have a place in my heart when it comes to movies,as a kid he made some of the best action packed movies going,more recently he has made a revival with his expendable franchise,I see this as him tipping his cap to the world before his curtain comes down,the expendable movies are not to be taken seriously, there is a wink and a nod the audience that says we know we are passed it but look we can nearly do what we use to ….

The problem with bullet to the head is Stallone’s belief that anyone would believe that he could kick any ones ass at his age, if you brought guns and cigars into the picture you could maybe get passed the bulls*it, but Stallone insists on beating these guys with his bare fists which doesn’t make any sense when his m.o is that of a hitman/ pensioner.

His co-star (Sung Kang) was bloody awful in this movie, they shared no chemistry what so ever,I can only come to the conclusion that Stallone thought he would tap into the Korean market by making is co-star a native of this country, same goes for Stallone’s daughter (Sarah Shahi) whose attempt to play the ultra cool chick just comes off as weird.

One to avoid I’m afraid.

3/10

KO

The Hangover part 3 (2013) Movie review; My fav’ out the lot!

I had such low expectations for this movie that I found myself surprised at how much I enjoyed this installment.

The first movie was very over hyped,it was indeed funny but I would not put it down as a classic,the second in my opinion was a complete waste of time,you really do get the feeling that they are squeezing their cash cow for every last drop,so on to the third,surely the cow is dead by now ?… well not quite,Alan for me is the only true funny thing about these movies, so they did the smart thing and based this film on him, his dead pan rudeness made me laugh out loud.

John Goodman plays a convincing bad ass and even though the story is rather over played the lead characters are entertaining and the pace of the movie feels just right.

Better than expected!

7/10

KO

Stoker (2013) Movie review; It’s no old boy but it does have style…

My expectation for this movie was high, anyone who has seen Old boy knows that the style and story of that film really had a big impact on cinema in general, Hollywood are cashing in this year by remaking the 2003 classic.

Chan wook park delivers a beautiful film in Stoker,there are twists and turns throughout and the cinematography is truly outstanding, there are moments in the film that could be captured as a still and be sold as art in a gallery.

With all the above said I can’t fly the ”Stoker” flag, the style was high but the content and story did not really do it for me,apart from the lead star I found the other characters purposely dull, I think this created endless possibilities for the movie but at the same time fails to engage or keep the interest of the viewer throughout.

Style over content.

6/10

KO